The Amnio

Today was not a good day. My heart is so heavy. I went in for the amniocentesis with my mom. We agreed that this wouldn’t be a good appointment for Nick to go to. Big scary needles pulling fluid from my placenta… Nick can skip this one. The procedure was not bad at all actually. Pressure but not pain. I just found a spot on the ceiling and focused on not moving. Since the placenta is so thick, the baby is a little cramped. It was nerve-wracking because the doctor had to be sure he didn’t get the baby with the big scary needle. When my doctor pulled out the fluid it was what is called “port wine”. The amniotic fluid is supposed to be clear, this was red from blood. Now to back-track a little: At 5 weeks pregnant I was in Virginia and I had started bleeding. Because I am RH negative I needed to go to the hospital and get a Rhogam shot. The ER told me that I was miscarrying again, “Go home, let it happen, you can’t pray it away”, was what I was told. When I did get home two weeks later, I went to my OB who did a sonogram to confirm the miscarriage. The sono tech, with tears in her eyes turned the monitor towards me and said, “there’s your baby, and there’s its heartbeat”. I immediately broke into tears, as did my mom. I called Nick who was away at workcamp, and told him “We still got a baby!” I also explained that the baby is not miscarrying, but I have a subchoreionic hemorrhage. I would have to be off my feet for 2 weeks, but the news was good. Over the next 2 weeks we saw the hemorrhage heal. This was our first miracle with this little one; it looks like we are going to need another miracle after today.

After the amnio the doctor checked the baby’s heartbeat again. It had apparently spiked up. The doctor said that with the heartbeat being where it is, a thickened placenta, IUGR and probably chromosomal abnormalities, he said there is a 80-90% chance the baby won’t make it through the week. I have been put on bedrest and he said that if I miscarry I will have to deliver stillborn. The problem is that if we miscarry this week, I might need to carry the baby still for another 2 weeks dead. This is because apparently my uterus will not be ready to force a delivery for another 2 weeks. If we take the miscarried baby before then, we could risk damaging my uterus. Because there was blood and again, I’m RH negative, I had to go and get another Rhogam shot. This time he ordered me 2 full doses. He also explained that he severely hoped that I was not sensitized because that can cause all sorts of problems for the next time I get pregnant.

After receiving news like this, the last place I wanted to be was at Whinnie Plamer Hospital. As I telephoned Nick about our visit with the doctor through tears, I watched a woman being escorted to her car holding her brand new baby. As they tried to shove all of the “Congratulations! It’s a Boy” balloons in their car, I couldn’t help but think how unfair all of this is. I did not expect a day like this. Whenever tragic news blindsides me, I always think how weird it is that just moments ago I was fine. Yesterday I was at Babies-r-us ooh’ing and aah’ing at baby swings and little pink hats. How fleeting those moments are.

I came home and told Nick more details of the appointment, expecting him to have a “come-apart”, (a workcamp coined phrase) as my mom and I had at the doctor’s office. When I told him though, his reponse was “so we have a 20% chance that we are going to be fine!” I responded yea, I guess we do. Thank you God for such a positive support! Nick is not letting me be sad about today, only hopeful for tomorrow. We have another appointment tomorrow for another sono.

Pray, pray, pray!